I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Buhtt sex?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
