Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
