Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
