I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
