so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
