she was so not down for the gang bang
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize