We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
