It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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