How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
