Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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