Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
