I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
