So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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