when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize