Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
