i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
