Me too!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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