so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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