I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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