my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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