Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
