"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
