They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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