i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hippo gnu deer
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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