I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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