is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
