she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
