Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head