After last night, I could never be a politician.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
