That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.