Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?

  (940): View more from Texas

  homeless.

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  (717): gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy? (940): homeless. http://tfl.nu/iz6y
  Replies (17) Good night (4778) Bad night (1061)
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  (949): View more from California

  I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.

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  (949): I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/xcpk
  Replies (46) Good night (1189) Bad night (9701)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.

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  (+64): You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited. http://tfl.nu/941d
  Replies (4) Good night (1555) Bad night (791)
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  (916): View more from California

  In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

  (1-916): View more from California

  Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

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  (916): In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room? (1-916): Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne. http://tfl.nu/vsj8
  Replies (11) Good night (5004) Bad night (784)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

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  (781): I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path. http://tfl.nu/8tge
  Replies (6) Good night (2238) Bad night (719)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.

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  (936): uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again. http://tfl.nu/cxza
  Replies (8) Good night (800) Bad night (1794)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower

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  (304): The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower http://tfl.nu/8cve
  Replies (12) Good night (2198) Bad night (732)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?

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  (678): When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was? http://tfl.nu/rsyp
  Replies (3) Good night (1848) Bad night (605)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER

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  (+44): HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER http://tfl.nu/mt7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (395)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

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  (307): Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS. http://tfl.nu/6kx3
  Replies (8) Good night (1471) Bad night (472)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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  (+44): We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA! http://tfl.nu/862o
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (262)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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  (956): I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vvm8
  Replies (8) Good night (321) Bad night (837)
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  (310): View more from California

  note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.

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  (310): note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/m5nc
  Replies (1) Good night (253) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.

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  (+44): He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy. http://tfl.nu/3usl
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true

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  (856): also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true http://tfl.nu/ky73
  Replies (9) Good night (462) Bad night (248)

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