Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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  (510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq
  Replies (6) Good night (945) Bad night (2227)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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  (602): every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels.. http://tfl.nu/8nli
  Replies (6) Good night (2826) Bad night (816)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.

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  (952): he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting. http://tfl.nu/x0uv
  Replies (6) Good night (4965) Bad night (657)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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  (302): just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day http://tfl.nu/bsdz
  Replies (6) Good night (5133) Bad night (719)
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  (310): View more from California

  So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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  (310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9
  Replies (50) Good night (8972) Bad night (1151)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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  (505): He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way. http://tfl.nu/qq0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1195) Bad night (4628)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

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  (828): You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on... http://tfl.nu/x8fm
  Replies (7) Good night (2524) Bad night (892)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow

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  (443): please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow http://tfl.nu/myf2
  Replies (10) Good night (4041) Bad night (1018)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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  (334): You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool. http://tfl.nu/6ccl
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (3437)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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  (859): Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up http://tfl.nu/e5lq
  Replies (10) Good night (669) Bad night (1622)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
  Replies (18) Good night (636) Bad night (931)
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  (510): View more from California

  Found an old burrito under my bed

  (415): View more from California

  You are a sick fuck

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  (510): Found an old burrito under my bed (415): You are a sick fuck http://tfl.nu/1myp
  Replies (5) Good night (438) Bad night (762)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice

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  (607): I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice http://tfl.nu/kf5f
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (526)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  .As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.

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  (301): .As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it. http://tfl.nu/uc8c
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (172)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.

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  (404): Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine. http://tfl.nu/q9px
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (275)

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