we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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