508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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