MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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