You really coming over, don't trick.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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