Yo dont text me then not text me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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