Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
