He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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