Sry I called you an 8
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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