She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
