Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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