Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
