well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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