so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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