I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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