i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
