I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
