I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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