I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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