What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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