I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
