i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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