Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
