What a fucking waste of an outfit
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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