K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
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i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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